Katie Holmes did everything right in leaving Tom Cruise. When you are dealing with narcissism whether it is the narcissism of a religion, a cult like scientology, or from an ordinary narcissist the very best thing to do is have a divorce plan. If you are not married, plan the ending anyway.
There really is no other way when in the grips of a controller prone to dirty tricks and revenge. Tom Cruise has played his cards over and over – Scientology rules and is to be obeyed and if you disagree, you will be punished. He has the money to back it up and the huge church behind him with its large legal teams. If Katie Holmes is to be successful in this arena, she did everything right. She separated her life from his with a well laid out plan of action that had a full blown strategy and good tactics to carry it out: a support team from her parents to her lawyers, a new place to live, a decision in her mind about what to do with custody, etc.
Yes, Katie Holmes has money to plan and plan well. But even if you do not have deep pockets you can still follow her lead and plan, plan, and plan some more. In my book, Divorce: The Real Truth and Hidden Danger, Surviving Deception, Betrayal and Narcissism, (also on iTunes and from Barnes and Noble)from the very beginning – and all through the book – I emphasize the importance of planning. It will save you so much anguish that the time and energy and money spent is well worth it.
Without a plan you are at the mercy of a controller, his attorney, his anger and the legal system. Planning might include research. Too many people contact me without knowing anything about their rights as a litigant, a divorcing spouse that it makes everything more difficult. If you know nothing, put together some key words, including the name of your state if in the U.S., and google for information. You want your state’s name in there because divorce laws vary from state to state. What is true for Texas is not necessarily so in Hawaii or New Jersey or Florida.
If Katie Holmes can surprise the Church of Scientology and Tom Cruise and make an escape plan, you can too. She may have more money but she has a entire cult of narcissism, with its huge legal teams that she had to escape from. You may feel like you do too at times, but hang in there. And maybe have a Plan B in place – you never know!