NARCiSSiSTiC  ABUSE                                                                                Online since 2002                           THE JOY OF EX : Leaving behind relationships that make you feel bad.                                Freedom from relationship tyranny, control and manipulation. consultant, author, speaker, Ann Bradley, M.A. ABOUT YOU ABOUT  ME BOOKSTORE The Basics Narcissism is categorized as a personality disorder by the mental health profession.  It is referred to as NPD or Narcissistic Personality Disorder.  Few are ever diagnosed because few go to therapy.   Narcissism is not high self-esteem, but a condition where the typical narcissist suffers from Preoccupation with hiding real or perceived flaws Overestimation of  importance, achievements, talents and skills Maladaptive attention seeking behavior Inability to empathize with others Excessive anger and shame in response to criticism often resulting in rage The narcissist will often manipulate others, especially partners,  to control them.  Projection and blame are hallmarks of this manipulation.  It is estimated that 85% of narcissists are males. This site respects all victims of emotional abuse, both male and female. More...... Because living with a narcissist can be extremely painful, it is important to understand You are not to blame Narcissists ensnare everyone Learning how to leave is important Rebuilding a life takes courage but you can do it There are plenty of people to help you, but it may not be your family or friends Information can be your ally to learn you are not alone   Does your partner have any of these?  CHARACTERISTICS of the  NARCISSIST ARE YOU TIRED of the Narcissist, abuser or bully in your life?         You have a right to a life without fear, anger, betrayal and put downs. What's stopping you from getting this life? Your Exit Strategy - The Most Important Thing To Do Are you thinking of leaving your partner?  Do you have a plan ?  People are sometimes so anxious to get out, they rush into exiting the relationship without a strategy. This is not the way to do it with a narcissist.   If married, a divorce without a plan could mean you end up losing custody or a home.  Just like anything else you want to accomplish, ask yourself, what is my goal and how am I going to get there?  And then, factor in that this is a narcissist and most people who tell you what to do may not understand things are done differently with a narcissist.  See for example:  A Narcissist in Court LIFE AFTER How about a plan for life after a narcissist?  I feel so sad when I get emails from people who have ended the relationship and feel adrift, lost and without hope.  This is understandable.  Healing takes time, but  traditional therapy often fails for many reasons.  People end up with no goals, often drained and tired, still suffering from the abuse.  You may have been told for so long that everything was your fault, you can't do anything right, you're not smart, and so all of a sudden, you don't know your strengths and the things that are right, and good, and healthy about you.  Try this: you identified an abnormal relationship and you took action. That meant you used certain character strengths - you used wisdom and  perseverance.  You nurtured your children; that means you have the capacity to love and be loved. If you are feeling like you need a pick me up, this is a fun to read little guide I wrote that will make you smile, encorage you,  and help you get back on the road to happiness again. Find out why dumb blondes aren't!    See The Dumb Blonde's Instructional  Manual for a Good Life.  If you want to read my book which is a guidebook and my story and how to plan for a  difficut divorce:  Divorcing A Narcissist: The Book                                 IF YOU ARE READY TO: Live Without  A Toxic  Partner, Learn the Steps To Take Before You Say You Are Leaving, Learn How To Make Your Next Relationship a Good One (what red flags to look for)  Re-engage With Life after Divorce THEN YOU ARE READY TO LEARN what to do how to do it when to do it    HOW TO LEAVE   If narcissistic personality disorder or other emotional abusers  are ruining your life, take action. The narcissist does not get better, but you can.  Many people are both afraid to leave and afraid to stay thinking they are alone and nothing can be done.  Often, upscale abusers are perceived as being able to buy their way out,  leaving the abused  feeling completely powerless.  Learned helplessness means you think you have no power to change a situation. It leads to depression.  IT IS NOT  PERMANENT.  You have the ability to change yourself, your beliefs and a bad situation.  You can UNlearn the feeling of helplessness. Action is the antidote to depression. Life can be good again. In fact, the more you act positively, the more your brain changes. Consultation and Coaching: The Joy (and how to's) of EX .. If you are ready for a change, want to set goals for moving on, NO MATTER WHAT STAGE YOU ARE IN...I do a certain number of phone consultations each month which include follow up emails and personalized action plan. My fee covers for the call, unlimited emails for a month and a personalized action plan.  Taking action ends anxiety.  CONSULTATION:  Let's Talk Testimonial Ann, you have touched and positively healed  so many deeply injured people and that certainly includes me.  You have been my lifeline a million times, I have felt understood by you and not alone, you have educated and encouraged me, I have learned from you that I am not crazy, just badly traumatized including physically by the relentless domestic and legal aggression and the losses I have absorbed. Oh, Ann, you have helped me fight off a terrible sense of humiliation, shame and guilt.. And for being fatigued and sick and weepy. You are part of my clawing my way back up....E.K. ...and the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom.  -- Anais Nin                                                     YOUR STORY:  SPEAK UP AND BE HEARD Tell the world! If you ever felt your voice was drowned out and no one is listening to you and  that your story was important  and needed to be told, or for any other reason you want to share something, there are thousands of people who want to hear you.  I can't tell you strongly enough how important your words are.  Now there is a way to be heard.  Being heard is something a victim needs,  but sometimes it is hard to figure out how to do it.  Now there is an answer.  Don't miss this exciting and easy and powerful way to be heard.     HOW TO BE HEARD And More.... Go here and find the rest of this site. It's chock full of Information on identifying a narcissist, divorcing a narcissist, choosing the right attorney for this situation, and custody information specific to difficult divorce situations. Identifying red flags in relationships so you don't make the same mistake again. Ever wonder why you choose the same bad partner over and over again? You can break free of this cycle and kiss abuse good-bye forever!

                                                        
                                                                                                      BOOKSTORE   

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THE EBOOK ....that takes you through my divorce with a narcissist.  Startling description of fraud, tax evasion, emotional abuse, survival techniques and a look at the legal system. DIVORCE: The Real Truth, The Hidden Dangers, Surviving Deception, Betrayal and Narcissism  If you want to see what divorcing a narcissist is like, this personal journey will show you why you need to prepare, plan and get help.  Add To Cart

Understand yourself, the narcissist in your life and what it means. Knowledge is power. This site is always a work in progress. Today is  May 06, 2008.  ann.bradley@gmail.com