13

Domestic Violence and Orders of Protection

 

narcissistic abuse

Understanding Orders of Protection (A guest blog post because your safety is important.)

Surviving abusive and  dangerous people sometimes necessitates taking strong legal action.  If you or someone you know has been the victim of domestic violence there are several options, both civil and criminal, to protect yourself or others from any further abuse or exploitation. If you’re looking to determine your legal options, the attorneys specializing in orders of protection Arizona offer a breakdown on the options available to maximize personal safety and security.

  1. Emergency Protection Order – In some states, the police can give the victim (or person believed to be the victim) an Emergency Protection Order (EPO). An EPO is a short-term protection order typically given to a victim by the police or magistrate when his or her abuser is arrested for domestic violence. The EPO is generally for limited period, such as three or seven days. This permits the victim time with an EPO in place to request a longer-term protection order.

  2. Order of Protection – All 50 states and the District of Columbia have statutes for some form of protection order. However, states call this order different things, such as protection orders, orders of protection and injunction for protection against domestic violence.

A protection order is different from an EPO because it is longer term, typically for one to five years, and in extreme circumstances, for up to a lifetime. A victim can renew the protection order, if he or she still feels threatened by his or her abuser.

Protection orders may include children, other family members, roommates, or current romantic partners of the victim. This means the same no contact and stay away rules apply to the other listed individuals, even if the direct harm was to the victim. Some states allow pets to be protected by the same order, as abusers may harm pets to torment their victims.

  1. Restraining Order – A restraining order is an order requiring parties involved in a lawsuit to do or not do certain things. It may be part of a family law case, such as a divorce, or other civil codes.   Restraining orders may be requested “ex parte” meaning that one party asks the court to do something without telling the other party. If the restraining order is granted ex parte, than the other party is later permitted a hearing to present their side of the story. This is often the process for protection orders also. As restraining orders also vary by state, it’s important to consult with an attorney familiar with the law where you live.

If you are in fear of your safety there are options for you to get help.  Taking the right step can lead to a life that is safer and ultimately happier. survive narcissism

Ann Bradley

13 Comments

  1. My friendship is a little different. He and I had a long on and off again relationship. He did all the talking,knew it all. No matter what i suggested I’d end up repairing the left over messes. Also getting loans to finish the work.I felt like no matter how i looked,talked or repaired something it never was done well.I looked only at my eyes,not at my body as a whole.At this point I hope he never comes back.Too many veiled threats..He said I was diseased,so why does he want me any way? We are elderly and I have grown to hate listening to him about his plans,his money,his this and that..BLAH,BLAH.

  2. Thank you for this. I too am an educated woman in psychology and can’t figure out how I got into this mess. Your story helped me realize just how disorienting it can be.

  3. My whole life these narcissistic people find me, from my dad, to boyfriends, to friends, do i have “please abuse me” on my forehead?!?!?!

  4. What do you do if the abuser files restraining orders to make it look like THEY are abused? I’m dealing with legal fees and risk not seeing my daughter.

    • Go to William Eddy’s site. He’s an attorney and a therapist. That’s a start. Then, you need to learn how to react to this kind of behavior. It must be calm with an air of detachment, that says (behind the scenes – “I’m being gaslighted, knew it would happen, so, let’s cut to the chase and get the truth out.” It’s part psychological. part games player, part magician and a lot of facts presented with grace and sophistication. I had to fight this and it is awful. I was calm and in front of the judge he yelled at me like we were alone. She kicked him out of the courtroom and denied his motion. Always let the court know a child needs two parents and you want to work with the other one to give your kid a normal childhood – find out the words they want to hear and feed it back to them.

  5. This is a good article, but I would also like to make people aware that it has been made increasingly easier to obtain protection orders, and through fraudulent means. If you look up the protection order filed against David Letterman, for supposedly “oppressing a woman through the air waves”, you will see what I mean. In my case, the narcissistic abuser who has made my life hell has obtained a protection order, based on false accusations. Please, I would really like to get the word out about this and have people read my blog – not just to share my story, but to help people going through a similar hell. My blog is:

    realdanniaskini.wordpress.com

    I hope that it was okay to leave that in the comments section here. I am also a regular reader of this blog. Thank you so, so much! And best of healing to anyone having or going through an abusive relationship – especially with a narcissist.

  6. My ex bf narc lawyer sent me a letter saying I was trying to extort him. I found out he was soliciting underage females and getting away with it for some time. When I broke it off he wants the gifts back he gave me. I got a restraining order. I have been Gaslighted. He cheats profusely on his ex gf and me. Hes a lawyer in DC 65 yrs old.. I was trying to get him help with his drinking. I became the enemy. Go figure. He has a new supply. I felt something was wrong. I should have listened to my gut. Made me think i was crazy. I was emotionally abused. His lawyer is a female and friend who handled his divorce where he claims his wife was abusive. His wife filed for divorce! Not him. Another female friend he claimed he hurt her. Found out. She was not interested in him. He keeps trying to date her. She said she does not facebook him. Call him. She ignores him. Thats when we was dating he did this. So he lied about her. Wanting him i guess.

  7. Why isn’t there a law against these types of people? They create chaos and cause danger. Why isn’t the brain imaging being forced? I feel people with some mental disorder should be locked in a mental institution or get the therapy they need instead of reining their behavior on innocent people.

    • Why (and how) would you criminalize a personality disorder? Cars also create chaos and danger as do many things we use and interact with daily. Better to understand and react as necessary. Best, Ann

      • When that person is purposely trying to destroy your past and future relationships in the pretense of a friendship and enjoys it (brags to his current GF about it). Incites PTSD symptoms that result in car wrecks, you having to resign from your job because you can’t focus and anxiety, overthinking, insomnia, when he threatens to kill you and your family after you leave. And when you catch him doing this to his current girlfriend. And making you look like the psychopath. THANK GOD I trusted my gut and got my evidence through her. But there needs to be a law against these people.

        • I understand how dangerous to one’s mental health narcissists can be. But there is no law that can be designed to outlaw mental illness or personality disorder. Laws already exist for harassment, physical abuse, neglect, fraud, threatening bodily harm, theft of monies belonging to both, etc. These exist – we need to use them. They cover the actions you mentioned. If the victim is suffering then he or she must seek help or report criminal activity (threats for example) and by taking action against the perpetrator they will be on the path to healing. Maybe we need to educate people that laws are already on the books that cover the actions a narcissist or sociopath or psychopath might do. Best, Ann

Leave a Reply to Jennifer Cancel reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *