Dating,porn,trust,being a good partner – this slice of life essay has it all. Genders have issues – we all know it – this just brings a few things front and center about it!
Women – is he: screwed up? Dysfunctional? Distant? Cold? Emotionally unavailable.?
Then get this in his hands now and if it doesn’t work, get out your courage and your walking shoes.
Yes, you – the one with one hand on your crotch and the other on the remote. Watching porn, porn, wonderful porn…my god, you have it all over the place. No more Playboy stashes – it’s on your hard drive and your hard on is not far behind.
Ok – put down the remote long enough to let the part of your brain that sends hormones coursing through your body with visuals rest a bit. We have important things to talk about and even though you don’t like to read too many words, get over it. TY. If this is 2MI, think of your gf and the D8 you want.
Ok, that’s it. Now, you read.
ARE YOU A jerk, sociopath, narcissist, passive-agressive?
I don’t care. All of those paths lead to misery for someone you want to relate to. And if you dump her for the honeymoon phase of the next one and the next and the next, soon you will find you are old and the only one you are capable of chasing is the nurse in the rest home and she is so not interested.
ADVANTAGES to losing some, not all, just some, of your Bad Boy habits: more sex, calm brain, a friend to help, longer life, you get what you want without a fight, better food, more friends, invites to places you like and ohmygod, you actually get frigging happier.
You think you are happy? Brother, you are so wrong. Wipe that smirk off your face and listen to me. No dysfunctional is happy. Ok, maybe some. But trust me, they are few and far between. Oh, you don’t trust me? That’s part of the problem and let’s start there.
TRUST: BIG, BIG ISSUE in a woman’s life. It is hard wired. Just like her breasts were hardwired to grow at puberty, her brain is hardwired to want to trust a man. Nope. Correction. She needs to trust a man. It’s evolution and I am sure you can figure out why, a zillion years ago, the one in the cave with the babies needed the one out hunting to be dependable. He absolutely could not be heading to the local Man Cave for the brew du jour and leaving them alone for long periods of time. Death, starvation. Yep…causes fear.
So, get this: you are needed to be trustworthy. She needs to know she can depend on you. You do not spend the paycheck before the bills are paid, you do not let her think there will be no food for the kid and you call and you email and you pay attention. Because paying attention is a lot cheaper than paying a divorce lawyer and that’s where you will be if you don’t pay attention. Why is paying attention important? Because it gives her this message: I can trust you.
Ok, so you screw up sometimes. We understand. But there are boundaries. LEARN THEM.
Here’s mine: He says, “If I still know you then…” Nope. Life is too short to start predicting failure. If it comes, I’ll deal with it then.