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STORY FOUR

 It's Not the Past, It's The Future That Counts: Doing Better, Much Better

Some stories sound almost like fairy tales. Every element needed to thrive after suffering abuse at the hands of a narcissist is here: love and support from family members, a great attorney, and a can-do attitude. But I disagree with the writer's allowing herself to be embarrassed. None of us should be embarrassed we stayed as long as we did. Staying is not a reflection on us, it is done often out of naivete, love, hope and a desire to make a home for the kids. When we can, or when we become aware,  we take action. Let us celebrate that.

I'm in the process of divorcing my narcissistic husband after a 35 year marriage.  If one could draw my ego it would be cauliflower, mangled and bruised after all those years of struggling to exist within a farce of a marriage.  I'm embarrassed to admit  I stuck it out for 35 years but I honestly didn't know or understand the NPD behavior and never linked it to his actions till my therapist described it for me.  I am so relieved, after all this time, to finally be out from under his cloud of distorted truths, moody, depressive,  and mentally abusive treatment .  I kicked him out after I found out he'd been leading a double life.  I could write a best seller out of what I've lived through and learned this past year.

 I'm thankful that my own sanity is intact.  I  felt my mind being wounded and I feared for my well-being.  I'm a very patient, loving person but I'm no doormat.  How or where I summoned the strength to confront him and literally push him out of my life, I'll never know - however, it was the single best thing I've ever done!  I'm 55 years old, we just moved into our dream retirement home in a new state.  My kids are on the West Coast and I'm on the East Coast.  With the help of a crackerjack lawyer, wonderful friends and loving kids I know I'll be a narcissist's Divorced Spouse Survivor!  Maybe we could start a club called the NSS!  Trust me....the need to discuss the organized chaos that I've been living through is tremendous.  Sharing with other people will validate my entire struggle....I'm hungry to listen too and identify with others so if anyone wishes to start a NSS chatroom, count me in!

I'll be swimming through the quicksand of this N divorce trial for a bit longer but I know now that I'm not only going to survive but I'm planning to THRIVE!

Sign me....too patient for my own health!