The narcissist makes a divorce a battleground and you are the enemy.
Male or female, partner, spouse or parent, being the victim of a dysfunctional person is one of life’s most difficult tasks. You are not to blame and there is help. You are not alone. Narcissism is a personality disorder but there is also acquired situational narcissism. A victim can be from an upscale life or not. Abuse strikes everyone.
Narcissistic personality disorder is probably not more pervasive than before but milder forms of narcissism are more common. The people who exhibit narcissistic traits can be your Facebook poster friend or your spouse and anyone in between. It may be impossible to completely avoid narcissism but you should not subject yourself to the pain of being the continual victim of an abuser.
...and the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom. – Anais Nin
{ 4 comments… read them below or add one }
I really liked your post.Thanks Again. Cool.
I just found your site! Thank you
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I’ve been divorced for 3 yrs after being married to a narcissist for 31. I’d been with him since I was 16. I was completely in love and co dependent for all those years. He, our daughters and our home was my life. He had always said how wonderful I was and how he loved taking care of me……… I always supported and encouraged him in his world. When I started “finding” myself, after our daughters were on there own and I had helped our youngest with her new twins for the first few years, the verbal abuse and detachment started. Long story short, my love turned into a complete monster. It’s been a nightmare that I haven’t been able to let go of. I lost him, our family, my home and finances. During this time, I did a lot of transformation work but was still paralyzed. I’ve just discovered what happened in discovering narcissism. Devastating and freeing. I’m not crazy. Even my LCSW suggested medication because “something wasn’t “firing” in my brain,” because I stopped working. God.
I`m one of the “lucky” ones who got out and under from a narc abuser,I now hear he`s hurting his new GF the way he treated me ,I have pity for her…..
I was married 26 yrs ,and almost all of them were abusive ………….
the divorce was dragged on for almost 2 yrs (the divorce HE originally wanted ) his attorney was also a narc of the highest order………..
Thought it would kill me ,but it didn`t,made me stronger……………..
(((hugs)))) to all of you still caught in limbo hell divorcing someone like my ex ,I keep you in my prayers…….
DON`T GIVE UP ,life without your abuser is beyond beautiful ,and worth pursuing………….
Thanks for letting people know there is life after this kind of divorce. You are so right – and people need to know this.
Ann